Monday, 8 January 2007

The Height of Mendacity

Occasionally, in company, someone, usually a woman, will ask the height of everyone in the group. More than likely, just before my turn to speak, the man standing next to me, who is clearly at least two inches shorter than I am, will pipe up with the same answer I was about to give. At this point, I'm liable to exaggerate my own height to avoid a tiresome argument. So, what with men being narcissists, forgetting that they're no longer in the same shape as they were at 22, or doing the Solomon Asch thing, you can never tell how tall they really are. That is, until now, for I have come up with the following ready reckoner to correct for inflation in a man's height. (Women are not immune, though less prone, to exaggerating their heights, or understating them, in the case of taller women, but I can't be bothered making up two tables.) All corrections are cumulative.
Stated HeightCorrectionAge of RespondentCorrection
up to 5'6"-2½"up to 35none
to 5'9"-2"to 45-½"
to 6'-1½"to 55-1"
to 6'3"-1"to 65-1½"
to 6'6"-½"to 75-2"
over 6'6"noneto 85-2½"
over 85-6' under
Blue State American-½"
Red State American-1"
Oh, and don't get me started on penises.

P.S. Halfsigma has statistical evidence for the phenomenon.